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The Paradox Marotte 813

—

by

Dale
in

Lore: The Paradox Marotte 813 was born from a catastrophic yet hilarious accident at the Ledgerdome of Mystic Calculus. A high-ranking student, attempting to calculate the exact probability of a punchline, accidentally dropped Alaric Vortexian’s Quantum Sorcery Modulator into a Spatial Illusion 52 (the laughter-marotte). Instead of shattering, the items fused through a “Mirth-Wave Convergence.” The result was an object that treats the laws of physics as a cosmic joke. The 813 series is now used by “Quantum Jesters” to bypass security by literally laughing their way through the subatomic gaps in reality.

Description: The item is a 12-inch jester’s marotte carved from Dimensional Alloy and Enchanted Wood. The jester’s head is a polished Quantum Core that pulses with iridescent, shifting colors. Instead of standard bells, it features three Humor Quartz crystals that orbit the jester’s hat in a state of quantum superposition—appearing to be in multiple places at once. When shaken, it doesn’t just tinkle; it emits a rhythmic, harmonic giggle that smells faintly of ozone and warm sugar.

Stats

  • Tier: 2
  • Rarity: Rare
  • Intelligence: +4
  • Arcane Knowledge: +3
  • Mana Capacity: +20
  • Weight: 1.5 lbs

Tags

  • Quantum-Illusion, Spatial-Anomaly, Mirthful-Arcana, Tier 2, Jocolyn-Vortexian-Hybrid, Probability-Joke, Reality-Bender, Sensory-Flux, Entropic-Wit, Glitch-Giggle, Wave-Particle-Jester, Chaos-Logic, Subatomic-Satire, Paradox-Anchor, Kinetic-Comedy, Frequency-Humor, Uncertainty-Baton, Flux-Fabricator, Multiverse-Mime

Multiple Passives Magic

  • The Punchline Probability: When the wielder casts an illusion spell, the “Wave-Function of Humor” collapses in their favor. All targets have a –2 penalty to save against the wielder’s illusions because the mind naturally wants to believe the “funny” outcome.
  • Quantum Entanglement (Social): While holding the marotte, the user is entangled with the mood of the room. They gain a +5 bonus to Persuasion or Diplomacy checks, as the device subtly vibrates to harmonize the wielder’s voice with the “Laughter’s Echo.”
  • Subatomic Phasing: The wielder’s physical form becomes slightly “fuzzy” at the edges. This grants a permanent +2 bonus to Armor Class or Evasion, as physical attacks have a chance to simply pass through a “probability gap” where the wielder isn’t currently located.

Multiple Active Magics

  • The Superposition Prank (Cost: 6 Mana): The wielder shakes the marotte and delivers a one-liner. They create three identical illusory duplicates of themselves. Unlike standard illusions, these are “Quantum-Real”—each duplicate can interact with the world (opening doors, picking up items) until someone observes them closely (attacks or interacts), at which point they vanish in a burst of confetti.
  • Schrödinger’s Guffaw (Cost: 8 Mana): Target a 15-ft radius. All creatures must succeed on an Intelligence or Will save. Those who fail are caught in a state of “Quantum Laughter.” They are simultaneously stunned by uproarious laughter and perfectly fine; however, every time they take an action, they must flip a coin. On a “tails,” the action fails as they double over in a fit of unintended mirth.
  • Dimensional Slapstick (Cost: 10 Mana): The wielder strikes the ground with the marotte. For 1 minute, the local geometry becomes “rubbery.” Terrain within 30 feet becomes difficult for enemies as they slip on invisible banana peels of warped space-time, while allies move at double speed as the distance between their steps is shortened by quantum shortcuts.

Specific Slot

  • Tool: This item is a Handheld Tool. While it can be used for a blunt strike, its primary function is to be held or waved to facilitate experimental arcanology and spatial manipulation.

Item Hit Points and Disabling Thresholds

The Paradox Marotte 813 exists in a state of quantum superposition, meaning it is simultaneously “there” and “not there.” This makes it remarkably difficult to destroy with conventional force, though its internal logic is sensitive to physical shocks. It possesses 45 Hit Points and an Armor Class of 22.

  • Logic Instability (22 HP): When the Marotte is reduced to half its total health, its “Quantum Entanglement” passive becomes erratic. The wielder must roll a d20 whenever they attempt a social check; on a 1–5, the device emits a loud, inappropriate raspberry sound, imposing Disadvantage instead of a bonus. The orbit of the Humor Quartz crystals becomes wobbly and chaotic.
  • Dimensional Collapse (0 HP): At zero hit points, the Quantum Core “pops” with the sound of a bursting balloon. The jester’s hat wilts, and the shimmering alloy turns into dull, heavy lead. The magic is disabled, and the wielder is struck by “The Silence of the Void,” becoming unable to speak or cast spells with verbal components for 1d4 hours.
  • Targeting Note: Due to its Tier 2 nature, the Marotte has Hardness 10. Any attack dealing 10 damage or less is ignored as the Marotte simply phases through the strike.

Repair and Restoration Process

Restoring a collapsed Paradox Marotte requires a mixture of scientific precision and genuine whimsy:

  • The Harmonic Tune-Up: To restore hit points, a crafter must use a Runic Engraver to re-etch the symbols on the Dimensional Alloy. During this process, someone must tell the Marotte a joke it hasn’t heard before. If the Humor Quartz crystals pulse, the repair is successful (restores 15 HP per hour of work).
  • Re-Core Calibration: If the item reached 0 HP, the Quantum Core must be re-initialized. This requires an Arcane Infuser and a fresh vial of Laughter Essence. The crafter must succeed on a DC 16 Intelligence (Arcana) check to re-align the subatomic wave functions.
  • The Moonlit Guffaw: To fully reactivate the “Superposition Prank” and other active magics, the repaired Marotte must be taken to a place of natural joy (like a festival or a peaceful garden) and shaken vigorously under the light of a full moon. When the ozone scent returns and the crystals begin their orbit again, the item is fully restored.

In the high-magic markets of Saṃsāra, the Paradox Marotte 813 occupies a niche space between “Scientific Instrumentation” and “Performative Trickery.” Because it is a Tier 2 item, it is rare enough to be a centerpiece in a specialized shop but common enough that a well-traveled adventurer might encounter one in a major metropolitan hub.

The Curated Arcanum (Magi-Science Boutiques)

  • Environment: These shops are found in the upper-tier districts of academic cities like Astariel. They are pristine, featuring brass-trimmed glass cases and a faint smell of ozone and lemon polish. The shopkeepers are often retired professors from the Ledgerdome.
  • How it is Sold: The Marotte is sold as a “Cognitive Probability Stabilizer.” It comes with a velvet-lined case and a technical manual for calibrating the quantum core. The merchant will likely ask for a demonstration of the buyer’s “Intellectual Wit” before finalizing the sale.
  • Cost: 1,200 to 1,500 Platinum Marks (approx. 12,000–15,000 Gold). These shops rarely bargain on price, but they may offer a discount if the buyer trades in a stable Quantum Sorcery Modulator.

The Jester’s Vault (Underground Performance Guilds)

  • Environment: Hidden behind secret doors in the back of theaters or within colorful, chaotic guildhalls. These shops are cluttered with costumes, masks, and experimental illusions. The air is thick with the scent of “Laughter Essence” and lavender.
  • How it is Sold: Sold as “The Ultimate Heckler’s Bane.” Here, the transaction is less formal. The merchant might challenge the buyer to a “Joke-Off”—if the Marotte pulses in response to the buyer’s humor, the merchant considers them a “Worthy Vessel.”
  • Cost: 950 Platinum Marks + A Favor. The lower gold cost is offset by the requirement of a “Narrative Debt”—the guild may call upon the buyer later to perform a prank or distraction in a high-security location.

Traveling “Wonders of the Vortex” Caravans

  • Environment: These are brightly painted, gravity-defying wagons that move between distant villages. They are surrounded by a constant flurry of confetti (a side effect of the items within).
  • How it is Sold: Sold through “Demonstration Auctions.” The merchant activates the Superposition Prank to show off the item’s power to a crowd of wide-eyed locals and traveling merchants. It is sold to the highest bidder on the spot.
  • Cost: Variable (800 to 2,000 Platinum Marks). Depending on the desperation of the merchant or the excitement of the crowd, the price can fluctuate wildly. These merchants often accept “Exotic Materials” (like Wyvernwood or Rainbow Dust) in lieu of currency.

The “Eclipsed” Clearance (Black Market Brokers)

  • Environment: Dimly lit, shifting stalls in the Shadow-Bazaars. These items are often “unregistered” or salvaged from collapsed laboratories.
  • How it is Sold: Sold “As-Is” with no guarantee of quantum stability. The Marotte might have a slight “Logical Instability” (lower HP), and the merchant will want a quick, untraceable transaction in a neutral currency or Mana Crystals.
  • Cost: 600 to 800 Platinum Marks. It is much cheaper here, but the risk of a “Giggling Singularity” or a malfunctioning core is significantly higher.

Resale and Scarcity

  • Buy-Back Value: A reputable merchant will buy a functional Paradox Marotte for 500 Platinum Marks.
  • Trade-In Value: Because of its unique hybrid nature, most Academic Institutions will offer a high trade-in value (up to 800 Marks) toward Tier 3 equipment, as they are eager to study the “Mirth-Wave Convergence” for their own research.

Roleplaying the Paradox Marotte 813 requires a balance of high-concept physics and low-brow comedy. The wielder acts as a “Quantum Trickster,” one who understands that the universe is governed by probability—and that probability has a wicked sense of humor.

Offensive Roleplay and Usage

Offense with the Paradox Marotte is less about brute force and more about “Subatomic Sabotage.” You are weaponizing the absurdity of a reality that can’t decide if it’s a wave or a particle.

  • In Combat Situations (Normal/Unsafe Areas): When using Schrödinger’s Guffaw, roleplay the wielder leaning into the absurdity. You don’t just “activate an effect”; you deliver a scathing satirical observation about the enemy’s combat stance. You narrate the enemy’s confusion as they begin to flicker—half of them is trying to swing a sword, while the other half is doubled over laughing. The roleplay is about the wielder’s smug satisfaction as the enemy literally fails to maintain a stable physical resolve.
  • Executing the “Superposition Prank”: Roleplay this as a “Shell Game.” You describe the wielder splitting into three colorful, vibrating copies. As you move, you narrate the copies swapping places in impossible “slides” through space. Offensively, you use this to flank. One copy juggles the Marotte to draw fire, while the “real” you (though in quantum terms, all are real) prepares a strike. The roleplay emphasizes the enemy’s frustration as they “pop” a duplicate only to be showered in mocking, neon-colored confetti.
  • Dimensional Slapstick: When you strike the ground, roleplay the environment becoming a “cartoon.” Narrate the cobblestones turning into slick ice for enemies while allied boots seem to “snap” to the ground with magnetic perfection. You describe the air itself giggling as an enemy lunges, only to overextend because the space between them and the wielder suddenly stretched by three feet.

Defensive Roleplay and Usage

Defense with the Marotte is based on “Logical Evasion.” You aren’t blocking a hit; you are making the hit “incorrect” according to the laws of the Atelier.

  • In Crowded Social Settings (Safe Areas): When tensions rise during a negotiation, use the Quantum Entanglement (Social) passive. Roleplay the wielder shaking the Marotte rhythmically. You describe the harmonic hum frequency-matching the heartbeat of the room. You narrate your own voice sounding “layered,” as if every possible version of your argument is being heard at once, making it impossible for the opponent to find a logical flaw to latch onto.
  • The “Subatomic Phasing” Defense: When an arrow or spell is fired at you, roleplay the “flicker.” Instead of a dodge, you narrate the projectile passing through your chest as if you were made of smoke and light. You describe a faint “pop” sound and a smell of burnt sugar as the object ignores your existence. The wielder might check their watch or fix their hat, acting as if the attempt on their life was simply a boring statistical anomaly.
  • Tactical Distraction: Roleplay the Mirthful-Arcana tag by using the Marotte to “infect” the environment. If being chased through a dungeon, you describe the wielder throwing a one-liner over their shoulder. The walls start to echo with a booming, distorted laugh that masks the party’s footsteps and makes the hallway feel like it’s tilting. The defense here is psychological—making the pursuers feel like the very building is mocking their pursuit.

Environmental Interaction Nuances

  • In High-Magic Laboratories: The Marotte goes into “over-sync.” Roleplay the jester’s head spinning like a turbine. The wielder might find themselves accidentally speaking in rhymes or seeing “math-ghosts” (floating equations) that highlight the best path through a trap.
  • In Areas of Great Sorrow/Necrosis: The Marotte pulses a protective amber light but feels “heavy.” Roleplay the wielder having to put more effort into their jokes, the “Laughter’s Echo” acting as a literal shield against the draining gloom of the environment.
  • Underwater or In a Vacuum: The Frequency-Humor tag ensures the sound still travels. Roleplay the “giggles” vibrating through the water or the hull of a ship, creating bubbles or sparks that look like smiling faces.

Perception of Activation:

User’s Perspective

  • Sight: The polished Quantum Core head of the marotte begins to swirl with internal nebulae of neon pink, electric blue, and gold. The three Humor Quartz crystals do not just move; they begin to “jitter,” appearing to occupy several inches of space simultaneously, leaving ghost-like trails.
  • Sound: A rhythmic, harmonic giggle erupts from the device. It is not a single voice, but a chorus of echoes that seems to anticipate the user’s own amusement. The sound vibrates through the user’s hand, feeling like a steady, musical heartbeat.
  • Touch: The handle alternates rapidly between the biting chill of the Dimensional Alloy and the organic, sun-warmed grain of the Enchanted Wood. A sensation of “lightness” fills the user’s arm, as if gravity has forgotten to apply to the hand holding the item.
  • Smell: A sharp, clean scent of ozone—like a thunderstorm—is immediately softened by the thick, comforting aroma of warm powdered sugar and vanilla.
  • Taste: A sudden, fleeting sweetness on the back of the tongue, reminiscent of rock candy or carnival treats.
  • Extra-Sensory (Quantum Hilarity): The user experiences a “Causal Tickle.” They become aware of the branching paths of the next few seconds and can sense which path leads to the most “humorous” (and therefore successful) outcome.
  • Extra-Sensory (Spatial Fluidity): The user feels as if their body is no longer a solid object, but a wave of potential energy, making the idea of “walls” or “distance” feel like a soft suggestion rather than a hard rule.

Observer’s Perspective

  • Sight: The wielder appears to “frame-skip,” moving with the jerky, unnatural grace of a stop-motion animation. Colorful confetti-like sparks of light bleed from the marotte and hang in the air, defying the wind.
  • Sound: Observers hear a cacophony of mirth that seems to originate from behind them, above them, and beside them all at once, making it impossible to pin down the wielder’s exact location by sound.
  • Touch: The air within five feet of the activated marotte feels “bouncy” and pressurized, as if the atmosphere has been replaced with invisible springs.
  • Extra-Sensory (The Absurdity Field): Nearby creatures feel a sudden, inexplicable urge to smile or chuckle, even in the heat of battle. The “seriousness” of their situation feels diminished, leading to a dangerous lack of focus.

Positives

  • Unpredictable Defense: The “jittering” nature of the wielder makes them an incredibly difficult target to track, effectively raising their evasive capabilities.
  • Morale Surge: The joy-inducing aura can snap allies out of magical fear or despair, replacing dread with a reckless, amused bravery.
  • Reality Bending: The wielder can ignore minor physical obstacles, effectively “slipping through” the subatomic gaps in locked doors or tight restraints.

Negatives

  • Sensory Dissonance: After the activation ends, the user may experience “Static Vision” or a ringing in the ears as their senses re-adjust to a singular, non-quantum reality.
  • Distracting Joy: The extra-sensory feeling of carefreeness can lead to the user ignoring actual dangers, such as traps or injuries, because they seem “too funny to be true.”
  • Social Fallout: In serious diplomatic situations, the involuntary giggle and scent of warm sugar can make the user appear disrespectful or insane to those not affected by the charm.

The Formula of the Superpositioned Guffaw

Items Merged

Additional Materials Needed

  • 3 Ounces of Dimensional Alloy: To reinforce the handle against subatomic shearing.
  • 1 Vial of Laughter Essence (Concentrated): To act as the coolant for the Quantum Core.
  • 1 Yard of Iridescent Sky-Silk: To wrap the handle, providing a tactile grip across different realities.
  • 2 Grams of Rainbow Dust: To stabilize the visual “confetti” output of the spatial illusions.
  • 1 Humor Quartz Shard (Spare): To act as a harmonic bridge between the three primary orbiting crystals.

Tools Required

  • Arcane Infuser: To bleed the mana crystals into the Dimensional Alloy.
  • Quantum Calibration Tool: To tune the jester’s head to the frequency of a perfect punchline.
  • Ethereal Circuit Constructor: To connect the bells’ resonance to the central processor.
  • Enchanting Mat: To provide a stable surface that prevents the item from phasing through the floor during assembly.
  • Mana Infuser: To prime the item with the necessary 20-point mana capacity.

Skill Requirements

  • Advanced Arcanology: Knowledge of how to bridge quantum mechanics with spatial illusions.
  • Precision Engineering: To assemble the orbiting crystal mechanism without causing a physical collision.
  • Bardic Theory (Humor): Understanding the structure of a joke to ensure the “Mirth-Wave” is consistent.
  • Runecrafting: For inscribing the “Echo-Runes” that allow the laughter to resonate across dimensions.

Crafting Steps

  1. Core Stripping: Carefully disassemble the Quantum Sorcery Modulator, removing the external casing to reveal the pulsating Quantum Core. Keep this suspended in a magnetic field to prevent reality-flicker.
  2. The Marotte Skeleton: Carve the handle from Enchanted Wood and reinforce it with the Dimensional Alloy. Use the Arcane Infuser to bond the wood and metal at a molecular level.
  3. The Laughter Infusion: Soak the Quantum Core in the Concentrated Laughter Essence. As the core absorbs the liquid, it should turn from a clinical white to a shifting, iridescent neon.
  4. Circuitry Weaving: Using the Ethereal Circuit Constructor, thread the circuits from the modulator through the marotte’s handle, ending at the crown where the jester’s hat will sit.
  5. Orbital Calibration: Place the three Humor Quartz crystals on the Enchanting Mat. Use the Quantum Calibration Tool to set their “Uncertainty Radius.” If done correctly, they should begin to orbit the crown in a blurred, jittering motion.
  6. The Aesthetic Binding: Wrap the handle in the Sky-Silk and attach the jester’s hat. Ensure the silver bells from the original marotte are replaced by the orbital crystals.
  7. The Narrative Spark: Activate the Mana Infuser and, while the energy is flowing, deliver a joke that makes the crafter genuinely laugh. The “Mirth-Wave” will collapse the probability of the assembly, locking the two items into the single Paradox Marotte 813.

Floating Fool and Math-Stick that Cannot Be Still

In the breath of the world before the lungs of men were built, when the “Hard-Cold-Numbers” (The Modulators) lived in a separate cage from the “Soft-Warm-Giggle” (Laughter’s Echo), there was a great shaking in the high rooms of the Wall-of-Gears (The Ledgerdome).

The story, written on the back of a beetle that lived for a thousand years and read by scholars whose eyes have turned to water, speaks of a Sage of the Small-Unseen (Alaric Vortexian). This Sage had a stick of “Truth-Calculation” which could count the legs of an ant that was not yet born. But the Sage was a man of “Heavy-Brain,” and his heart was as dry as a desert bone.

In the same sun-cycle, there was a Maker of Smiles (Jocolyn) who had a “Jester-on-a-Stick” (Spatial Illusion 52). This doll could make a king forget his crown and a soldier forget his spear, for it sang with the “Voice of the Belly-Shake.”

The translation, which is broken like a dropped cup, says: “The Sage met the Fool at the place where the logic-river meets the sea of dreams.” They fought a battle of “Why” versus “Ha.” During this noise, the Sage’s Math-Stick fell into the Fool’s Smile-Stick. There was a sound like a “Galaxy-Sneezing.”

When the smoke of the confetti cleared, the Paradox Marotte 813 was standing on the air. It was a jester, but its head was a “Star-Core” that thought in circles. It had three stones that were “Here-and-Away” (The Humor Quartz) which danced like bees around a flower that is invisible.

The Sage reached for it, and his hand passed through the wood like a ghost through a wall. The Fool reached for it, and the stick told him a joke about his own birth that made him fall over with the “Happy-Crying.”

The story tells of the Great Siege of the Grumpy King, who had locked all the doors of the world with “Heavy-Iron-Logic.” The wielder of the 813 did not use a ram. He simply shook the Marotte. The gates did not break; they simply decided that “being a gate was too serious a job” and turned into bubbles of ozone and jasmine. The wielder walked through the subatomic “Giggle-Gaps” in the stone, and the King’s guards began to slip on the “Slapstick-Floor” of space-time.

The translation ends with a smudge of purple ink: “He who holds the 813 is never truly in one place, for he is always halfway to the next punchline.” It is said the item still wanders the halls of the Atelier, appearing in the hands of those who are smart enough to know that the universe is a prank, and foolish enough to enjoy it.

Moral of the Story: If you build a wall of perfect numbers, the wind of a good joke will blow it down; but if you marry the logic to the laughter, you shall walk through the walls of the world as though they were but shadows.

Suggested conversions to other systems:

Call of Cthulhu (7th Edition)

Name: The Jester’s Quantum Effigy

Description: An artifact of “Logic-Breach” origin. It feels simultaneously heavy and weightless, smelling of ozone and sweet carnival treats.

Stat Block:

  • Skill: Art/Craft (Comedy) or Persuade
  • Magic Points: 6 MP per activation
  • Sanity Cost: 1/1D4 (User only)
  • Duration: 1D6 rounds
  • Range: 10-foot radius

Mechanics:

  • Probability Gap (Passive): The user gains a +10% bonus to Dodge. When an attack misses, the user briefly appears to “glitch,” flickering into a neon-colored silhouette.
  • Superposition Prank (Active): Spend 6 MP. The user splits into three versions. Enemies must succeed on a Hard INT check to identify the true target. Attacks against the wrong target cause a burst of confusing confetti.
  • Schrödinger’s Guffaw (Active): Spend 8 MP. All within 4 meters must pass a POW check. On a failure, they are “Amused” (non-hostile) and must succeed on a Luck roll to take any violent action each turn.

Blades in the Dark

Name: The 813 Paradox Marotte

Description: A Tier II Sparkwright artifact crafted from Dimensional Alloy. It is a tool of pure chaos used to bypass security through “logical slapstick.”

Stat Block:

  • Tier: II
  • Quality: Fine (Potency when using humor or distractions)
  • Load: 1 (Held)

Mechanics:

  • Passive — Subatomic Phasing: When you roll a Resistance check against physical harm, you gain +1d. The narrative reflects you “phasing” through the attack with a giggle.
  • Passive — Punchline Probability: When you use a Sway or Consort action to de-escalate a situation with a joke, you have Increased Effect.
  • Active — Dimensional Slapstick (2 Stress): For the remainder of the current obstacle, the area is under your control. You may treat any terrain as “Difficult” for enemies (slippery space-time) or “Easy” for allies (quantum shortcuts).
  • Active — Superposition Prank (3 Stress): You occupy multiple positions at once. You may perform two separate Actions simultaneously (e.g., picking a lock while distracting a guard), taking the better result of the two rolls, but you suffer Level 1 Harm: “Quantum Migraine” afterward.

Dungeons & Dragons (5th Edition)

Name: Paradox Marotte 813

Description: Wondrous Item, Rare (requires attunement) A jester’s marotte that hums with the “Ballad of the Gears.” Its three orbiting crystals jitter in and out of existence.

Stat Block:

  • Ability Score Increase: While attuned, your Intelligence score increases by 2, to a maximum of 20.
  • Charges: 5 charges (regains 1d4+1 charges at dawn).

Mechanics:

  • Subatomic Phasing (Passive): You gain a +1 bonus to AC. Additionally, you can move through creatures and solid objects as if they were difficult terrain. If you end your turn inside an object, you take 1d10 force damage and are shunted to the nearest unoccupied space.
  • Superposition Prank (Active, 2 Charges): As an action, you cast Mirror Image. While these duplicates exist, you can use a bonus action to swap places with one of them.
  • Schrödinger’s Guffaw (Active, 3 Charges): As an action, you shake the marotte. Each creature of your choice within 15 feet must make a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw. On a failure, the creature is Incapacitated by laughter for 1 minute. At the start of each of its turns, the creature can flip a coin. On a heads, the effect ends for it.

Knave (2nd Edition)

Name: The Glitch-Stick

Description: A jester doll that refuses to follow the laws of the dungeon. It smells like cookies and ozone.

Stat Block:

  • Slots: 1
  • Quality: 45 (Phases through damage on a roll of 11+ on a d20)
  • Armor: +2 (Phasing defense)

Mechanics:

  • Punchline Logic (Passive): You gain a +3 bonus to all checks involving social manipulation or escaping physical restraints.
  • The Slapstick Step (Passive): You can walk across pits or liquid as if they were solid ground for up to 10 feet per turn, provided you are delivering a monologue or joke.
  • Superposition Prank (Active): Once per day, you may be in two places at once. You can perform two actions in different locations (within 30 feet) during the same turn. Afterward, you must make a CON save or gain a “Wound” from exhaustion.
  • Dimensional Slapstick (Active): Once per day, you can make a 30-foot area “Rubbery.” Enemies move at half speed and fall prone on a failed DEX save. Allies move at double speed.

Fate Core System

Name: The 813 Paradox Marotte

Description: A jester’s marotte that exists as a probabilistic anomaly. It smells of ozone and warm sugar, and its orbiting crystals jitter between possible locations.

Stat Block:

  • High Concept: Quantum-Jester’s Reality Bender
  • Aspects: “The Punchline is the Probability,” “Not Quite There, Not Quite Then,” “Slapstick Physics.”

Mechanics:

  • Passive — Quantum Entanglement: You gain a +2 bonus to Sway or Deceive actions when your approach is humorous or absurd.
  • Passive — Subatomic Phasing: Because you are slightly out of sync with reality, you may use Notice or Lore to defend against physical attacks, representing your ability to instinctively phase through a “probability gap.”
  • Active — The Superposition Prank: Once per scene, spend a Fate Point to be in two places at once. You can interact with objects or people in two different zones simultaneously for one exchange.
  • Active — Dimensional Slapstick: You may spend a Fate Point to create a scene-long aspect: Rubbery Geometry. You gain two free invokes on this aspect to hinder enemies or accelerate allies as the environment warps to follow the logic of a cartoon.

Numenera & Cypher System

Name: Marotte of the Shifting Quanta

Description: A Level 4 artifact featuring a polished core that pulses with iridescent light. It treats the laws of the Ninth World as a series of suggestions rather than rules.

Stat Block:

  • Level: 4
  • Form: Handheld Tool (Depletion: 1 in 1d10)

Mechanics:

  • Passive — Mirthful Insight: While holding the marotte, the user is trained in tasks related to Persuasion and Quantum Mechanics/Numenera Identification.
  • Passive — Probabilistic Defense: The difficulty of all Speed Defense tasks is decreased by one step as the user’s physical form “jitters.”
  • Active — Schrödinger’s Guffaw (3 Intellect points): The user shakes the marotte. Up to three targets within short range must make an Intellect defense roll. On a failure, they are dazed for one minute; every time they attempt an action, they have a 50% chance to fail as they fall into a fit of laughter.
  • Active — Dimensional Slapstick (5 Intellect points): The user warps a 20-foot area for one minute. The area is considered “Difficult Terrain” for enemies, and all allies within the area gain a +1 asset to Speed-based tasks.

Pathfinder (2nd Edition)

Name: Paradox Marotte 813

Description: Artifact, Illusion, Occult, Quantum, Transmutation This Tier 2 relic is a masterpiece of “Mirth-Wave Convergence,” allowing the wielder to navigate the subatomic gaps in reality with a joke.

Stat Block:

  • Level: 8; Usage: held in 1 hand; Bulk: L
  • Ability Bonus: +2 Item bonus to Performance and Occultism checks.

Mechanics:

  • Passive — Subatomic Phasing: You gain a +1 status bonus to AC and Reflex saves. You can move through the spaces of enemies without needing to Tumble Behind, though you still provoke reactions unless you take the Step action.
  • Active — The Superposition Prank [Two-Actions] (Frequency: once per hour): You create two “Quantum Images.” This functions as Mirror Image, but as long as at least one image remains, you can use a single action with the Teleport trait to swap positions with an image within 30 feet.
  • Active — Schrödinger’s Guffaw [Two-Actions] (Frequency: once per day): You deliver a punchline that ripples through space. Targets in a 15-foot emanation must succeed on a DC 26 Will save.
    • Success: The target is unaffected.
    • Failure: The target is Stunned 1 and Sickened 1 from uncontrollable laughter.
    • Critical Failure: As failure, but the target is Stunned 3.
  • Active — Dimensional Slapstick [Three-Actions]: You strike the ground. The area within a 20-foot burst becomes difficult terrain for enemies for 1 minute. Allied creatures in the area gain a +10-foot status bonus to their Speed.

Savage Worlds (Adventure Edition)

Name: Paradox Marotte 813

Description: A whimsical jester’s baton that hums with a frequency that unsettles the very fabric of space.

Stat Block:

  • Type: Arcane Device (Tier 2)
  • Weight: 1.5 lbs.

Mechanics:

  • Passive — Quantum Entanglement: The wielder gains a +2 bonus to all Persuasion and Performance rolls.
  • Passive — Subatomic Phasing: Attackers suffer a -1 penalty to hit the wielder with any direct physical attack as they “flicker” between possible locations.
  • Active — Superposition Prank: As an action, the wielder can spend 2 Power Points to create two duplicates (as the Deflection power, but providing the benefit of Mirror Image).
  • Active — Schrödinger’s Guffaw: The wielder makes a Performance roll vs. the Spirit of all targets in a Medium Burst Template. On a success, the targets are Distracted. On a Raise, they are also Stunned as they collapse into laughter.
  • Active — Dimensional Slapstick: Once per scene, the wielder can spend 3 Power Points to affect an area of 10″ (20 yards). For 3 rounds, enemies treat the area as Difficult Terrain. Allies in the area gain +2 to Pace.

Shadowrun (6th Edition)

Name: The Vortexian Probability-Marotte

Description: An exotic fetish that merges a Quantum Sorcery Modulator with a high-resonance illusion anchor. It smells of ozone and carnival sugar, appearing as a “glitching” jester’s baton in the astral plane.

Stat Block:

  • Type: Magical Focus (Rating 2) / Exotic Club
  • Attack Rating: 8/6/—/—/—
  • Damage: 3S (Stun)
  • Availability: 5R
  • Cost: 18,000¥

Mechanics:

  • Passive — Subatomic Phasing: While the focus is active, the wielder gains +1 Defensive Rating. Additionally, they may add the Focus Rating to any Athletics (Evasion) tests.
  • Passive — Quantum Entanglement: Add the Focus Rating as a dice pool bonus to any Influence tests where humor or social de-escalation is used.
  • Active — Superposition Prank (Major Action): The wielder spends 1 Edge to create two “Quantum Shadows.” For the next (Magic) combat turns, any time the wielder is targeted by an attack, the attacker must roll a D6. On a 1–4, they hit a shadow, which disappears in a burst of neon confetti.
  • Active — Dimensional Slapstick (Major Action): The wielder “slaps” the ground. For (Focus Rating) minutes, a 10-meter radius becomes “Slippery Space.” Enemies suffer a -2 dice pool penalty to all Agility-based tests.

Starfinder (2nd Edition Playtest)

Name: Paradox Marotte 813 (Hybrid Item)

Description: A technomagical tool used by field researchers of the Ledgerdome. The head is a quantum core that treats physical laws as humorous suggestions.

Stat Block:

  • Level: 8; Price: 9,500 Credits; Bulk: L
  • Usage: 1 handheld; Capacity: 20 (Self-charging)

Mechanics:

  • Passive — Punchline Probability: You gain a +2 circumstance bonus to Diplomacy and Performance checks.
  • Passive — Subatomic Phasing: You gain a +1 status bonus to AC. You can move through the space of one Large or smaller creature per turn without triggering reactions.
  • Active — Schrödinger’s Guffaw (2 Actions, 5 Charges): You release a burst of localized laughter. Creatures in a 15-foot cone must succeed on a DC 24 Will save or be Sickened 1 and Stunned 1 for 1 round.
  • Active — Dimensional Slapstick (3 Actions, 8 Charges): You warp the terrain in a 20-foot burst. This area is difficult terrain for enemies. Allies who start their turn in the area gain a +10-foot status bonus to their land speed for that turn.

Traveller (Mongoose 2nd Edition)

Name: TL 15 Quantum Jester’s Baton

Description: An advanced piece of high-tech laboratory equipment disguised as a toy. It manipulates local gravity and probability strings.

Stat Block:

  • TL: 15; Weight: 0.5 kg
  • Cost: Cr 75,000
  • Skill: Profession (Magi-Science) or Persuade

Mechanics:

  • Passive — Quantum Entanglement: The user receives a +1 DM to all Persuade and Carouse checks. If the user has Psionics, they receive a +1 DM to Teleportation tasks while holding the baton.
  • Passive — Subatomic Phasing: Any ranged attack against the user suffers a -2 DM as the user’s physical presence fluctuates.
  • Active — Superposition Prank: As a Significant Action, the user activates the internal core. For the next 1D6 rounds, any time the user is hit, roll 1D6. On a 4+, the hit was against a “probability ghost” and deals no damage.
  • Active — Dimensional Slapstick: As a Significant Action, the user creates a localized gravity flux in a 6-meter radius. All enemies must make a DEX check (8+) or fall prone. The area is considered difficult terrain for 1D6 minutes.

Warhammer (Wrath & Glory / 4th Edition)

Name: The Paradoxical Glee-Stick

Description: A bizarre artifact found in the Eclipsed Atelier. Scholars debate if it is a relic of the Old Ones or a Tzeentchian prank that went awry.

Stat Block:

  • Value: 15 (Rare); Tier: 2
  • Keywords: [Magical], [Artifact], [Chaos]
  • Damage: 4 + 1 ED; AP: 0

Mechanics:

  • Passive — Punchline Probability: You gain +2 bonus dice to all Persuasion (Fel) and Deception (Fel) tests when using wit.
  • Passive — Subatomic Phasing: Your Defense is increased by +1 as you flicker in and out of the materium.
  • Active — Schrödinger’s Guffaw (Action, 2 Glory): You deliver a joke that tears the veil. All enemies within 10 meters must pass a Willpower Test (DN 4). On a failure, they are Stunned for 1 round as they collapse into laughter.
  • Active — Dimensional Slapstick (Action, 3 Wrath): You warp the environment. For the remainder of the encounter, the area within 15 meters of where you struck the ground is “Difficult Terrain” for enemies. Allies gain +2 Speed when moving through this zone.

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