Proboscis 108 of Accounting

Lore

In the humid, bustling marketplaces of the jungle continents of Saṃsāra, the insectoid avatars—butterflies, mosquitoes, and moth-folk—often found themselves disadvantaged in the high-stakes world of finance. While their ability to taste the air for nectar was unparalleled, their biological inability to verbally articulate complex tax codes or physically manipulate quill pens with their mouthparts left them reliant on translators and scribes.

The “Proboscis 108” was the solution, a mass-produced enhancement created by the Hive-Mind Actuaries of the Emerald Canopy. This device is a sheath of filigreed silver and glass that fits over the natural proboscis. It was designed to turn a feeding tube into a data-siphon. Originally, these were used by “Nectar-Bankers” who needed to verify the purity of liquid assets (potions, oils, rare saps) without ingesting them. Over time, the enchantment was tweaked to include auditory projection, allowing the silent insectoids to speak with the dry, monotone voice of a seasoned accountant. This specific unit, Number 108, has likely been passed down through a lineage of silk-traders, its glass filters stained with the residue of a thousand inkwells.

Visual Description

The item appears as a segmented, telescopic tube made of polished sterling silver and reinforced glass. It slides over the avatar’s natural proboscis like a rigid sleeve. Along the length of the silver are etched mathematical runes that glow with a faint, sterile blue light. At the tip, instead of a simple opening, there is a complex array of crystalline lenses and a small, brass nib. When the avatar speaks, the silver segments vibrate, translating the insect’s clicks and buzzes into intelligible Common, albeit with a nasal, bureaucratic twang.

Tier 1 Stats and Properties

• Item Name: Proboscis 108 of Accounting
• Tier: 1
• Slot: Proboscis (Occupies the mouth/feeding slot of insectoid avatars).
• Rarity: Common
• Attunement: Required (Takes 1 minute of rhythmic breathing to sync the airflow with the vocal synthesizer).
• Worn Count: Counts as 1 towards the maximum of 10 worn attuned items.
• Value: 55 Silver (slightly more expensive due to the vocal enchantment).

Skills Gained

• Vocal Synthesis: The wearer gains the ability to speak clearly in the Common tongue (or the language of commerce) even if their biology normally only allows for chirping or buzzing. The voice is always calm, detached, and authoritative.
• Liquid Analysis: The wearer gains an intuitive understanding of the chemical value of any liquid they touch with the tip. They can instantly distinguish between a “Potion of Healing” and “Colored Water” without needing to drink it.

Color

Sterling Silver and Ink-Blue Glass.

Passive Magic

• The Taster’s Ledger:
  • When the avatar extends the proboscis into a liquid (a potion, a drink, a puddle), the Mind’s Eye instantly receives a breakdown of its ingredients and market value.
  • Example: Dipping the tip into a glass of wine reveals “Vintage 492, Grapes from the Southern Isles, laced with 2% Arsenic (Poison). Market Value: 0 due to contamination.”
• Ink Siphon:
  • The device can draw up ink from a well and store it in a small reservoir within the glass casing.
  • The tip can then be used as a precision writing instrument. The avatar can write by moving their head, allowing for hands-free documentation. The handwriting is always perfect copperplate script.
• Pheromone Filter:
  • The silver casing filters the air the avatar breathes. It neutralizes airborne toxins and pheromones that might cloud judgment.
  • This grants the avatar advantage on saving throws against charm effects or gas-based poisons, roleplayed as “filtering out the emotional bias.”

Active Magic

• The Verbal Audit (Action):
  • The avatar projects a cone of amplified sound (15 feet). They speak a command word (usually “Desist” or “Calculate”).
  • Creatures in the cone must succeed on a Will save or be momentarily stunned by a barrage of rapid-fire legal jargon and numbers.
  • This is a sonic attack that deals 1d4 thunder damage (the sheer volume of the bureaucracy) and leaves the targets with a headache.
• Sample Extraction (Action):
  • In melee range, the avatar can make a “bite” attack. Instead of dealing damage, the proboscis latches onto the target and extracts a tiny sample of fluid (blood, venom, oil).
  • This deals 1 point of piercing damage.
  • The extracted sample is instantly analyzed. The avatar learns one immunity, resistance, or vulnerability of the target creature (e.g., “Subject is immune to Fire; blood contains high sulfur content”).
• Ink Jet (Combat Reaction):
  • If the avatar is attacked in melee, they can reflexively purge the ink reservoir.
  • A jet of black, indelible ink sprays into the attacker’s face (5-foot range).
  • The attacker is blinded for one round unless they spend an action to wipe their eyes. The ink is magical and stains the skin for 1d4 days, marking them as a “Defaulter.”

Tags

Biological, Social, Alchemical, Sonic, Insectoid, Utility, Lawful, Bureaucracy, Prosthetic, Linguistic, Appraisal, Fluid, Sensory, Guild, Detection, Diplomatic, Scribe, Mercantile

Additional Information

• Conduit Function: Mages using this item as a conduit find their verbal spell components are amplified. A “Thunderwave” cast through the Proboscis sounds like a gavel slamming down in a courtroom.
• Social Stigma: Among traditional hives, wearing a silver proboscis is seen as “selling out” to the mammalian races. It marks the avatar as one who prefers the company of merchants to the company of the swarm.
• Maintenance: The glass filters must be cleaned with alcohol weekly to prevent clogging. If the ink reservoir dries out, the “Ink Jet” ability fails, and the avatar speaks with a scratchy, dry throat.
• Pain Penalty: If a non-insectoid avatar attempts to wear this (e.g., a human forcing it over their nose/mouth), they will suffocate as the filters block all air that isn’t liquid, causing 1d4 damage per round until removed.
• Synergy: If worn with the “Compound Eyes of Appraisal,” the analysis data from the “Taster’s Ledger” is visually overlaid on the liquid, creating a complete chemical and financial profile in the Mind’s Eye.

Methods of Acquisition

The Proboscis 108 of Accounting is a specialized piece of bio-thaumaturgical equipment found primarily in regions with high populations of insectoid avatars, such as the Great Canopy or the Hive-Spire Archipelagos. Because it bridges the gap between biological feeding functions and social/financial interaction, it is often treated as a badge of office rather than a mere tool. Adventurers and avatars typically acquire this item through several distinct pathways:

• Diplomatic Inheritance or Hive Assignment: In the rigid caste systems of many insectoid cultures, an avatar is often born or hatched into a specific role. A character with a background in logistics, trade, or inter-species relations may begin their journey with this item as a gift from their Queen or Hive-Mother. It signifies that the avatar has been designated as a “Speaker to the Soft-Skins” (humanoids) or a “Counter of Pollen.” If the character is an exile, they may have stolen it from the Royal Scribe before fleeing the hive, making the item a mark of their treason as well as their trade.
• Recovery from Fallen Couriers: The trade routes of Saṃsāra are dangerous, patrolled by sky-pirates and hungry monstrosities. Insectoid couriers, prized for their ability to fly and carry delicate messages, often use these proboscis attachments to deliver verbal contracts or verify the purity of alchemical shipments. Adventurers exploring the wreckage of a downed distinct airship or a caravan ambushed in the jungle may find the item on the body of a Moth-folk messenger. The silver casing is durable and often survives impacts that destroy the organic host.
• Confiscation from corrupt Alchemists: The item’s ability to analyze liquids makes it a favorite tool for potion-makers and poisoners who need to verify their mixtures. A quest involving the exposure of a “Snake Oil Salesman” or a guild creating counterfeit healing potions often leads to a confrontation with a chemically enhanced insectoid alchemist. Upon defeating such a foe, the Proboscis 108 can be salvaged from their lab equipment, though it may need to be thoroughly cleaned of toxic residue before it is safe to wear.

Retail Establishments and Commercial Availability

The sale of Proboscis 108 is highly specialized. One does not simply walk into a blacksmith’s forge to buy a delicate silver flute for a butterfly’s mouth. These items are sold in establishments that cater to the intersection of biology, alchemy, and diplomacy.

• The Alchemical Apiaries: Located in the upper terraces of jungle cities or suspended from the branches of massive world-trees, these shops smell intensely of wax, honey, and antiseptic alcohol. The walls are lined with hexagonal shelves containing jars of royal jelly and preserved organs. The shopkeepers are typically Apis (bee-folk) or Coleoptera (beetle-folk) who buzz with nervous energy. Here, the Proboscis 108 is sold alongside wing-repair kits and chitin polish. The atmosphere is clinical yet organic; the sound of thousands of tiny wings provides a constant background drone. The item is usually kept in a sterile glass tube filled with a nutrient solution to keep the internal bio-filters moist.
• Diplomatic Outfitters and Linguist Guilds: In the cosmopolitan trade hubs where terrestrial, aquatic, and aerial races mix, there are high-end boutiques designed to help “monstrous” races blend in with “civilized” society. These shops feature mirrored walls, velvet drapes, and silence spells to dampen the noise of the street. They sell voice-boxes, disguise kits, and translation amulets. The Proboscis of Accounting is marketed here not just as a financial tool, but as a “Civilizing Prosthetic” that allows the insectoid client to speak without clicking or hissing. The sales staff are often changelings or multi-lingual bards who treat the fitting process like a tailor measuring a suit.
• The Scavenger’s Hive-Market: Deep in the under-cities or the dark recesses of termite mound metropolises, scavengers sell recycled cybernetics and bio-magical parts. The lighting is poor, provided by bioluminescent moss. The Proboscis 108 found here might be dented, the silver tarnished, or the previous owner’s taste data still stored in the memory crystals. Purchases here are risky; the filters might be clogged, or the vocal synthesizer might be stuck on a specific dialect, but the price is significantly lower than in the surface shops.

The Transaction Process

Buying a Proboscis 108 is an intimate and invasive process, as the item must interface directly with the avatar’s feeding anatomy.

• The Taste Test: Before money changes hands, the buyer must verify the “Liquid Analysis” function. The shopkeeper will set out three small thimbles of liquid: one of pure nectar, one of vinegar, and one of a mild toxin. The buyer must extend their natural proboscis into the silver sheath, attune to it, and then sample each liquid. If the Mind’s Eye correctly identifies the vinegar as “Acetic Acid – Low Value” and the toxin as “Danger – Do Not Ingest,” the item is functional.
• The Vocal Calibration: To test the “Vocal Synthesis,” the buyer must recite a standard contract or a tongue-twister provided by the merchant. The shopkeeper adjusts the small screws on the side of the silver casing until the buzzing and clicking of the insectoid voice is smoothed out into a flat, monotone drone suitable for business negotiations. This tuning process can take up to an hour and requires the avatar to hold perfectly still.

Cost and Valuation

The Proboscis 108 is a Tier 1 Common item, but its complexity raises its value slightly above simple tools.

• Standard Market Value: In a city with a significant insectoid population, a new Proboscis 108 sells for approximately 55 to 70 Silver. The extra cost accounts for the silver content and the enchantment required for voice synthesis.
• Remote Location Markups: In areas where insectoids are rare or feared, the price can double to 120 Silver (or 12 Gold). Merchants in these areas view the item as a rare curiosity or a necessary expense for a visiting dignitary who needs to be understood.
• Scrap Value: Damaged units found in scavenger markets or loot piles are often valued only for their raw materials. A crushed Proboscis 108 might sell for 10 to 15 Silver, strictly for the weight of the sterling silver and the salvageable glass lenses.
• Currency Exchange Considerations:
  • Silver: The standard currency. 55 Silver is a pocketful of coins, easily carried.
  • Gold/Electrum: A payment of 5 Gold and 5 Silver (or 11 Electrum) is the preferred method for high-end Diplomatic Outfitters, who disdain the clutter of copper.
  • Barter (Organic): In Alchemical Apiaries, trade is often conducted in biological assets. A vial of rare venom, a pound of refined silk, or a comb of magical honey can be traded directly for the item. For example, a adventurer might trade a “Stinger of a Giant Wasp” (a monster part) for the Proboscis, as the shopkeeper can use the stinger to craft weapons.

Tactical and Social Applications of the Bio-Legal Interface

The Proboscis 108 of Accounting fundamentally alters how an insectoid avatar interacts with the world. By replacing the primal act of feeding with the civilized act of analysis and oration, the item shifts the avatar’s roleplay from that of a scavenger or predator to that of a detached, unyielding bureaucrat. In combat, this manifests not as rage, but as an aggressive enforcement of order. In social situations, it transforms the avatar into an unshakeable arbiter of truth and value. The silver sheath and glowing runes serve as a constant reminder that the wearer is an agent of the “Cosmic Ledger.”

Offensive Roleplay: The Weaponization of Bureaucracy

• The Sonic Filibuster (The Verbal Audit):
  • When utilizing the “Verbal Audit” ability, the player should not describe a scream or a roar. Instead, the avatar fully extends the telescopic silver tube, the blue runes flaring with blinding intensity. The avatar projects a cone of sound that is not just loud, but dense with information.
  • The sound is described as a “wall of droning legalese” or a “rapid-fire recitation of the penal code.” It hits the enemy with physical force, vibrating their bones with the sheer weight of the law.
  • The player might say, “My proboscis amplifies my voice to 120 decibels. I recite the 4,000 rules of the Merchant’s Guild regarding assault. The goblin is stunned by the sheer boredom and volume of the lecture.”
  • If the attack deals lethal damage, it is described as the enemy’s mind simply shutting down from the information overload, causing them to collapse in a heap of “liquidated assets.”
• The Forensics Bite (Sample Extraction):
  • In melee combat, the “Sample Extraction” is roleplayed as a clinical procedure rather than a savage bite. The avatar does not tear flesh; they insert the needle-tip of the proboscis with surgical precision.
  • The avatar might grapple an enemy, holding them still with their insectoid limbs while calmly stating, “Please remain stationary for mandatory bloodwork.”
  • Upon dealing the piercing damage, the avatar immediately relays the analysis to the party. “Target’s blood has high iron content and traces of Fire Essence. Recommendation: Use cold-based attacks. Do not consume meat; high cholesterol.” This turns a minor attack into a major tactical advantage.
• The Redaction Spray (Ink Jet):
  • The “Ink Jet” reaction is the ultimate refusal of service. When an enemy gets too close, the avatar does not panic. They simply decide that the enemy is “viewing sensitive material without clearance.”
  • The spray is described as a high-pressure burst of black fluid that smells of ozone and permanent marker.
  • If the enemy is blinded, the roleplay emphasizes their humiliation. They are not just blinded; they are “redacted.” Their face is painted black, marking them as a rejected variable in the equation. The avatar might quip, “Your application has been denied.”

Defensive Roleplay: The Shield of Regulation

• Atmospheric Denial (Pheromone Filter):
  • The Proboscis 108 acts as a gas mask for the soul. When facing enemies that rely on pheromones, fear gas, or seductive perfumes (like Dryads or Succubi), the insectoid avatar remains completely unmoved.
  • The player describes the silver filters glowing as they burn away the impurities. While the rest of the party might be coughing or charmed, the accountant stands firm, breathing only “statistically pure air.”
  • This allows the avatar to act as the “Designated Driver” of the group, immune to emotional manipulation because their biology is currently being filtered through a lens of cold, hard math.
• The Poison Control Protocol:
  • In a dungeon environment, the avatar takes point on inspecting suspicious liquids. Instead of throwing a rock into a pool or risking a finger, the avatar dips the very tip of the silver proboscis into the substance.
  • The roleplay involves the avatar’s eyes flashing with scrolling numbers as the “Taster’s Ledger” activates. “Do not step in this water. It is 90% Acid and 10% Slime. Analysis suggests a Black Pudding is nearby.”
  • This transforms the avatar into a living hazard detector, capable of sniffing out traps that rely on chemical triggers.

Environmental Adaptations

• High Society and Courtrooms:
  • In the polished halls of the aristocracy, an insectoid avatar is usually seen as a monster. The Proboscis 108 inverts this. The silver filigree matches the jewelry of the nobles, and the “Vocal Synthesis” allows the avatar to speak with a diction more perfect than the king’s.
  • The avatar uses the item to dominate negotiations. By sipping wine through the filter and instantly announcing its vintage and market value, they prove their sophistication. “This vintage is three years younger than you claimed, Baron. The price must be adjusted.”
  • The monotone voice acts as a poker face. It is impossible to hear fear or excitement in the synthesized drone, giving the avatar an advantage in Deception and Intimidation checks.
• The Wilderness and Jungle:
  • In the wild, the item is a survival tool. The avatar can stick the proboscis into a tree to determine if the sap is edible or poisonous. They can sample a muddy puddle to see if it contains parasites.
  • When encountering wild beasts, the “Pheromone Filter” prevents the avatar from triggering aggression responses in territorial animals, masking their scent with the sterile smell of metal and ink.
• Magical Laboratories and Arcane Zones:
  • In areas of high magic, the Proboscis 108 acts as a grounding rod. When spells are cast, the avatar channels the verbal components through the synthesizer.
  • A “Silence” spell cast by the avatar doesn’t just quiet the room; the proboscis emits a frequency that cancels out all sound, described as “imposing a moment of silence for the audit.”
  • The item’s immunity to airborne toxins makes the avatar the ideal candidate for exploring alchemical labs where fumes might have killed previous adventurers. They can walk through a cloud of “Death Fog” and simply note, “Air quality is substandard. Hazard pay is required.”

Perception of Activation:

When the insectoid avatar slides their natural proboscis into the Proboscis 108 of Accounting, the sensation is one of immediate, hermetic sealing followed by a rush of sterile, conditioned air. The biological mouthpart, accustomed to the humidity of the jungle and the scent of raw nectar, is suddenly encased in cool, rigid silver and glass. The activation is signaled by a low-frequency thrum that vibrates against the avatar’s mandibles, syncing the device with their respiratory system and suppressing their natural urge to chitter.

Visual Perception: The Alchemical Overlay

• Description: The moment activation is complete, the avatar’s compound vision is overlaid with a faint, cobalt-blue heads-up display. The runes on the silver casing glow, and this light is refracted through the glass lenses at the tip, projecting data directly into the Mind’s Eye. Every liquid surface shimmers with a spectral tag. A puddle of mud isn’t just brown; it has floating text reading “H2O + Silicates + 3% Bacterial Contaminant.”
• Positives:
  • Chemical Clarity: The avatar can “see” the ingredients of a potion before uncorking it. A glass of fine wine glows with a soft vintage rating and sugar content, while a poisoned chalice pulses with a jagged red warning aura labeled “Hazard: Arsenic.”
  • Flow Dynamics: The avatar can visualize air currents and pheromone trails as colored ribbons, allowing them to see exactly where a scent—or a lie—is coming from.
• Negatives:
  • Data Overload: In a rainstorm or a swamp, the visual field becomes cluttered with millions of chemical readouts for every raindrop, causing headaches and requiring the avatar to mentally “minimize” the windows to see the enemy.
  • Loss of Beauty: A flower is no longer a thing of beauty; it is reduced to its glucose content and pollen count. The artistic appreciation of nature is replaced by a nutritional spreadsheet.

Auditory Perception: The Synthesized Echo

• Description: The avatar hears their own voice not as a series of clicks, buzzes, or chirps, but as a resonant, monotone drone generated by the silver casing. Every breath they take creates a faint, white-noise hiss as the filters scrub the air of impurities.
• Positives:
  • Linguistic Precision: The avatar hears the “true meaning” of words. When they speak, they hear the perfect pronunciation of Common, ensuring no miscommunication with soft-skins.
  • Sonic Dampening: Sudden loud noises (thunder, explosions) are automatically compressed by the device to protect the avatar’s sensitive hearing, turning a deafening bang into a manageable thud.
• Negatives:
  • The Feedback Loop: If the avatar gets too excited or tries to speak too fast, the synthesizer lags, creating a jarring “stutter” or a high-pitched feedback squeal that hurts their antennae.
  • Emotional Flatness: The avatar cannot hear the inflection of their own emotions. They might feel rage, but their ears hear only a calm statement of fact, which creates a dissociative disconnect between feeling and expression.

Gustatory (Taste) Perception: The Sterile Palate

• Description: This is the most profound change. The natural sense of taste is completely intercepted by the device. The avatar no longer tastes “sweet” or “sour” in the biological sense. Instead, they receive a direct cerebral download of the chemical composition.
• Positives:
  • Safety: The avatar can sample lethal poisons without harm. The device neutralizes the toxin in the sample chamber and sends a “Fatal Hazard” signal to the brain instead of the taste of death.
  • Objectivity: There is no “bad” taste. Rotting meat doesn’t taste revolting; it simply registers as “Putrefied Protein.” This allows the avatar to consume emergency rations or survival food that would otherwise make them gag.
• Negatives:
  • Joyless Consumption: The pleasure of a fine nectar or a honey-cake is gone. Eating becomes a refueling process, like adding oil to a machine. The avatar craves the sensation of flavor but receives only data.
  • Phantom Sweetness: Occasionally, the avatar experiences “ghost tastes”—a sudden, intense burst of sugar or bitterness—when the device recalibrates, unrelated to what they are actually eating.

Extra-Sensory Perception: The Bureaucratic Intuition

• Description: The “Lawful” tag of the item imprints a subconscious desire for order onto the avatar’s psyche. They feel a physical sense of “wrongness” when in the presence of chaos, lies, or unbalanced ledgers.
• Positives:
  • Lie Detection: When someone speaks a falsehood, the avatar feels a “static fuzz” on their antennae. It’s not a sound, but a vibration of untruth.
  • Value Sense: When entering a room, the avatar instinctively knows where the most valuable liquid or asset is located. It feels like a magnetic pull or a “heavy” spot in the room’s atmosphere.
• Negatives:
  • The Itch of Chaos: Being in a messy room, a disorganized inventory, or a lawless bandit camp causes a phantom itching sensation under the avatar’s chitin. They feel a compulsive need to straighten paintings, organize coins, and correct grammar.
  • Empathy Filter: The device suppresses “irrational” emotions. The avatar finds it harder to connect with chaotic or overly emotional beings (like bards or barbarians), viewing their outbursts as “inefficient energy expenditure.”

Schematic Authorization: Vocal-Analysis Interface (Proboscis Series 108)

Materials Needed

• Sterling Silver (4 oz, High Purity): Must be melted down from coins that were used to pay a final debt. The metal retains the metaphysical resonance of “settled accounts,” which is crucial for the item’s truth-telling properties.
• Silica from the Glass Wastes: Sand collected from a desert where lightning strikes frequently. When blown into glass, this material naturally conducts magical energy and holds the “Blue Rune” enchantment.
• Vocal Sac of a Mimic Beetle: A preserved organ from a creature known for imitating sounds. This serves as the biological base for the vocal synthesizer.
• Prism of Absolute Clarity: A small gemstone cut with exactly 108 facets. It acts as the “lens” that translates chemical data into visual text for the Mind’s Eye.
• Filter Membrane: Weave spun from the silk of a Phase Spider, treated with activated charcoal. This creates the pheromone and toxin barrier.
• Liquid Logic (1 Vial): A solution of mercury and crushed abacus beads.
• Binding Agent: Beeswax mixed with powdered lapis lazuli.

Tools Required

• Glassblower’s Blowpipe (Mithral-Tipped): For shaping the delicate telescopic tubes without introducing impurities.
• Jeweler’s Loupe and Engraving Stylus: To etch the microscopic mathematical formulas onto the silver segments.
• Sonic Tuning Fork (Note of F-Sharp): Used to calibrate the vocal synthesizer to the frequency of “Bureaucratic Monotone.”
• Alchemist’s Retort: To distill the Liquid Logic.
• Mannequin Head (Insectoid): A stand used to hold the silver sheath during cooling to ensure it retains the correct curvature.

Skill Requirements

• Crafting (Jewelry or Glassblowing): The physical construction requires creating a watertight, airtight seal between metal and glass.
• Arcana (Transmutation): Required to alter the properties of the silver to act as a vocal cord.
• Science (Chemistry): The crafter must understand the reagents used in the analysis matrix to properly program the prism.
• Tier Requirement: The crafter must be at least Tier 1 to handle the delicate etching of the runic software.

Crafting Steps

Phase 1: The Silver Throat Begin by smelting the Sterling Silver. While molten, introduce the Liquid Logic solution. The silver will hiss and turn a dull grey before returning to a shine; this indicates the metal has accepted the concept of “Calculation.” Pour the silver into a mold to create three telescoping segments. These must fit together perfectly—if there is even a micron of gap, the voice will sound like a kazoo, and the item will be useless.

Phase 2: The Crystalline Eye Using the Glassblower’s Blowpipe, heat the Silica from the Glass Wastes until it is a glowing orange orb. While blowing the glass into a thin tube that fits inside the silver sheath, the crafter must visualize a spreadsheet. Insert the Prism of Absolute Clarity into the tip of the molten glass. As it cools, the glass will contract around the prism, locking it in place. This creates the “sampling tip” that tastes and analyzes.

Phase 3: The Synthesizer Installation Take the Vocal Sac of a Mimic Beetle and stretch it over the internal aperture of the silver tube. Secure it with the Phase Spider silk (Filter Membrane). Use the Sonic Tuning Fork to vibrate the silver casing. The crafter must strike the fork and touch it to the silver repeatedly until the vibrations cause the beetle sac to hum in a steady, flat drone. This locks the “voice” into the correct, emotionless register.

Phase 4: The Runic Etching Using the Engraving Stylus, carve the 108 Laws of Commerce along the length of the silver tube. These are not just words; they are the magical circuitry that powers the “Verbal Audit” attack. The grooves must be filled with the Beeswax and Lapis Lazuli binding agent. When the magic takes hold, the wax will vaporize, leaving behind a glowing blue residue.

Phase 5: The Taste Calibration The final step is the most dangerous. The crafter must dip the finished Proboscis into a solution of pure lemon juice (Acid) and honey (Sugar). If the runes glow blue and the synthesizer speaks the words “Citric Acid and Fructose,” the item is complete. If the runes flash red or the item screams, the logic matrix is flawed, and the glass must be shattered and re-blown.

Silver-Tongue and Death of Sweetness

Part the First: The Time of the Silent Belly

It is written on the leaves that rot, from the cycles before the cycles, that the Winged-Ones, the Flower-Kings, had no words. They had only the buzz and the click. They drank the sun-juice from the blossoms and were happy in the belly, but their minds were empty of the counting.

Then came the Soft-Meat-People. They came with the heavy stones of gold and the papers of white lies. They said to the Flower-Kings, “Give us your silk, which is the vomit of the worm, and we shall give you the shiny dirt.”

The Flower-Kings clicked, “Yes.” But they did not know the shiny dirt was heavy. They did not know the shiny dirt could not be eaten. The Soft-Meat-People laughed. They took the silk. They took the honey. They left only the heavy dirt. The Flower-Kings were poor. They were hungry. Their bellies made the sound of thunder-in-a-cave.

Part the Second: The Flight to the Iron Peak

There was one Flower-King, a Moth-of-Great-Dust, whose name was He-Who-Flaps-in-Thinking. He saw the empty honey-pots. He saw the Soft-Meat-People fat with the stolen sugar.

He said to the wind, “Why do I have a mouth that only drinks? I need a mouth that bites with the noise of the law.”

He flew to the High Place where the smoke bites the eyes. This was the home of the Smith-God, the Hammer-that-Burns. He-Who-Flaps-in-Thinking landed on the anvil. His wings were scorched, but he did not fly away.

“O Hammer-God,” he buzzed. “My people are foolish. They trade the life-blood for the dead-stone. Give me a tongue of silver. Give me a throat of glass. I wish to speak the words of the ‘No’.”

Part the Third: The Eating of the Gray Metal

The Hammer-God laughed, and the sound was like the breaking of mountains. “Little Dust-Wing,” the God roared. “To speak the Law is a heavy curse. The Law has no flavor. If I give you the Silver-Tube, you shall never taste the sweet again. You shall taste only the Numbers.”

He-Who-Flaps-in-Thinking looked at his starving tribe. He looked at the fat merchants. “I will eat the gray metal,” he said. “Take my taste. Give me the Truth.”

The God took the silver of the moon. He took the sand of the lightning-beach. He hammered them. Clang-shhh-hiss. He pulled the metal long, like a noodle of iron. He filled it with the smoke of the library. He wrote the runes of the Headache on the side.

He ripped the soft-straw from the Moth’s face. He shoved the Silver-Tube onto the stump. It burned cold. It locked tight. The Moth tried to scream, but the scream came out as a Number.

Part the Fourth: The Great Calculation

He-Who-Flaps-in-Thinking flew back to the market. The Soft-Meat-People were there. They held a jar of water and said, “Behold, Flower-Kings! This is the Nectar of the Gods! Give us your daughters for this jar!”

The other moths danced. They wanted the water. But He-Who-Flaps-in-Thinking landed on the jar. He dipped the Silver-Tube into the liquid.

He expected the taste of cool rain. Instead, his mind filled with the blue fire of knowledge.

BZZT-CLICK. H-Two-O plus Mud plus Spittle of Toad.

He opened his mouth. He did not click. A voice came out, flat and hard like a stone dropped on ice.

“THIS IS NOT NECTAR,” the Moth boomed. “THIS IS SWAMP-FILTH. THE VALUE IS ZERO. YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF THE TRADE PACT, SUB-SECTION FOUR.”

The Soft-Meat-People covered their ears. The voice was too loud. It was too true. The lies melted in the air. The jar shattered. The Flower-Kings stopped dancing. They saw the mud. They were angry.

Part the Fifth: The Wealth of Sorrow

The Flower-Kings drove the merchants away with stingers and dust. They made He-Who-Flaps-in-Thinking their High Counter. He sat on the throne of wax.

Every day, they brought him food. “Taste this, O Wise One,” they said. “Is it good?”

The Moth dipped his silver face. “IT IS 40 PARTS SUGAR. 10 PARTS WATER. 2 PARTS BEETLE-DUNG. NUTRITIONAL RATING: ADEQUATE.”

He ate, but he felt no joy. He remembered the memory of sweetness, but he could not feel it. The silver filtered the love out of the food. It filtered the beauty out of the flower. He saw only the math.

He became rich. His tribe became fat. But he sat alone in the dark, touching the cold silver of his face. He whispered to the silence, “I am full, yet I am empty. I know the cost of everything, but the value of nothing.”

And so, the Silver-Tube passed from father to son, a crown of heavy duty. It is the gift that fills the storehouse but starves the soul.

The Moral of the Story: He who seeks to swallow the whole truth must be prepared to choke on the bitterness of the facts; for wisdom is a meal that fills the belly but leaves the tongue dry.

Suggested conversions to other systems:

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Call of Cthulhu (7th Edition)

Name: The Mi-Go Bio-Analyzer Sheath

Description A rigid, tubular device constructed from a non-terrestrial silvery metal and fused silica. It is clearly designed to fit over a feeding tube or proboscis-like organ. While the workmanship resembles human Art Deco, the geometry is unsettlingly fungoid. Investigators believe these devices were given to human collaborators by the Fungi from Yuggoth to facilitate the precise measurement of mining yields and chemical compounds without the need for heavy equipment.

Stats and Mechanics

• Cost to Equip: 1D4 Sanity points (SAN) and a successful CON roll to endure the painful interface process where the device latches onto the user’s sensory nerves.
• Skill Bonus: The user gains a +20% bonus to Accounting, Appraise, and Science (Chemistry) while the device is attached, as it whispers data directly into the auditory cortex.
• Voice Synthesis: The user can speak perfectly modulated human languages, gaining a Bonus Die to Persuade rolls when using logic or legal arguments. However, they suffer a Penalty Die to Charm or Art/Craft (Singing) because the voice lacks emotional resonance.
• Active Ability: Chemical Audit By dipping the tip into a substance, the user can instantly analyze its composition. This functions as a successful Science (Chemistry) or Science (Pharmacy) roll. If the substance is Mythos-related (e.g., Space Mead or black ichor), the user must make a Sanity Roll (0/1) as they comprehend the alien formula.
• Combat Action: Sonic Censure The user can project a amplified shout of bureaucratic denial. This costs 2 Magic Points.
  • Range: 5 yards (cone).
  • Effect: Targets must succeed on a CON roll or be Stunned for 1 round due to the disorientation caused by the unnatural frequency.

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Blades in the Dark

Name: The Spark-Wright’s Taster

Description A complex silver-and-glass prosthetic worn over the mouth and nose (or proboscis for Tycherosi with insect features). It filters air and analyzes liquids. Originally designed for Imperial Food Tasters to prevent poisoning, it has been repurposed by savvy brokers in Duskwall to ensure the quality of electroplasm and alchemical spirits.

Stats and Mechanics

• Load: 1 (Light).
• Type: Fine Gear (Tier III).
• Effect:
  • The Nose for Coin: You get +1d to Study or Survey rolls when assessing the value of goods, liquids, or alchemical supplies. You can identify any poison or drug by taste without suffering its effects (the device filters the toxin into a waste reservoir).
  • Voice Amplifier: The device allows you to project your voice with unnatural clarity and volume. You gain Potency on Command rolls when shouting orders or reading a manifesto.
  • Ink Spray: You can mark 1 Stress to empty the waste reservoir as a weapon. This acts as a short-range Skirmish tool that blinds the target for a few moments (reduced effect against those with goggles).
• Drawback: The device makes a constant, low-level humming noise. You take -1d to Prowl checks that rely on silence unless you turn the device off (which disables the filters).

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Dungeons & Dragons (5th Edition)

Name: Proboscis of the High Scrivener

Description Wondrous item, uncommon (requires attunement by a creature with a bite attack or proboscis) This segmented sheath of silver and blue glass fits snugly over a natural proboscis or snout. Runes of law and mathematics drift across the glass surface.

Stats and Mechanics

• Universal Translator: While attuned to this item, you can speak, read, and write Common and Infernal (the language of contracts). Your voice sounds metallic and authoritative.
• Alchemical Analysis: You can use an action to dip the proboscis into a liquid. You instantly learn the liquid’s name, market value, and if it is poisonous (as per the detect poison and disease spell, but touch range only).
• Filtered Breathing: You have advantage on saving throws made against harmful gases, vapors, and inhaled poisons.
• Spells: The item has 3 charges. It regains 1d3 expended charges daily at dawn.
  • Bureaucratic Shout: You can expend 1 charge to cast thunderwave (DC 13 Constitution save). The sound produced is not a boom, but a magically amplified recitation of tax law.
  • Ink Jet: You can expend 1 charge as a reaction when hit by a melee attack to spray ink at the attacker. The creature must succeed on a DC 13 Dexterity saving throw or be blinded until the end of its next turn.

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Knave (2nd Edition)

Name: The Auditor’s Beak

Description A silver nose-sheath with glass lenses. It smells of vinegar and old paper.

Stats and Mechanics

• Slots: 1
• Quality: 4
• Trait: Fastidious.
• Function:
  • Neutralize Toxin: The wearer can safely consume any liquid. The beak filters out poison, turning it into harmless black ink stored in a small vial.
  • Value Sense: The wearer knows the exact coin value of any item they smell or taste.
  • Megaphone: The wearer can shout clearly enough to be heard over a raging battle or storm.
• Durability Rule: If the wearer takes damage from a gas or poison attack, roll a d6. On a 1, the filters clog, and the item ceases to function until cleaned with alcohol (taking 1 turn).

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Fate Core

Name: The Silvered Proboscis of the Hive-Logos

Description A telescoping sheath of silver and rune-etched glass that fits over an insectoid avatar’s feeding tube. It buzzes with a low, authoritative hum, translating the user’s clicks into the cold, hard syntax of bureaucracy.

Aspects

• Main Aspect: Silver-Tongued Auditor of the Swarm
• Trouble: Addicted to Chemical Purity

Stunts

• Liquid Ledger: Because you have the Silvered Proboscis, you gain +2 to Investigate or Lore when analyzing the chemical composition, value, or magical properties of a liquid substance you touch with the device.
• The Sonic Filibuster: You can use Provoke to make a specialized mental attack against everyone in your zone. You project a deafening recitation of local tax codes and trade violations. This attacks their mental stress track.
• Atmospheric Denial: You gain +2 to Physique when defending against gas-based attacks, airborne poisons, or pheromone-based mind control, as the silver filters scrub the air of “illogical” impurities.

Extras

• Vocal Synthesis: The device allows a mute or clicking species to speak fluent, monotone Common (or the local trade language).

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Numenera & Cypher System

Name: The Truth-Taster

Level: 4

Form A segmented tube of synth and glass, etched with linguistic nanos, designed to fit over a mouthpart or proboscis.

Effect

• Passive: The wearer can speak any language programmed into the datasphere’s local trade node. The voice is metallic and loud.
• Passive: The wearer is trained in identifying liquids and chemical substances. If they are already trained, they become specialized.
• Active: By spending 1 Intellect point, the user can create a “Zone of Audit.” For one minute, the wearer acts as a specialized sensor for detecting poisons or dangerous gases in the immediate area (short range).
• Combat: The wearer can use an action to project a focused beam of sound (a barrage of legal definitions). This is an Intellect-based attack that deals 4 points of damage and moves the target one step down the damage track on a failure due to disorientation.

Depletion 1 in 1d20 (Check each time the Sonic/Combat function is used).

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Pathfinder (Second Edition)

Name: Proboscis of the Ardent Auditor

Item Level: 4 Price: 90 gp Usage: Worn (Mask); Bulk: L

Description This silver sheath fits snugly over a proboscis. It is etched with Abadaran runes of commerce.

Activation Interact (Single Action); Effect: You dip the proboscis into a liquid. You automatically succeed on checks to Identify Magic (if the liquid is a potion) or Identify Alchemy (if it is a poison or elixir), provided the item’s level is equal to or lower than the Proboscis’s level. You also learn the market price of the liquid.

Passive Benefit:

• Vocal Synthesis: You can speak Common and one other language (usually Draconic or Infernal) clearly, even if your anatomy does not support it.
• Filter: You gain a +1 item bonus to saving throws against inhaled poisons and olfactory-based effects.

Activity: The Verbal Audit (Two Actions) Frequency: Once per hour. Effect: You project a 15-foot cone of thunderous bureaucratic jargon. Creatures in the cone take 2d6 sonic damage (DC 20 Basic Fortitude save). On a critical failure, the creature is also Stunned 1 as they are overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information.

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Savage Worlds (SWADE)

Name: Bio-Metric Siphon (Proboscis Attachment)

Type: Weird Science / Magic Item Weight: 0.5 lbs Cost: $600

Description A silver and glass attachment that converts biological feeding instincts into data analysis.

Mechanics

• Analytic Engine: The wearer gains a +2 bonus to Science or Survival rolls made to identify liquids, potions, or poisons.
• Environmental Filter: The wearer gains a +2 bonus to Vigor rolls to resist inhaled toxins, gas attacks, or drowning (as the device filters oxygen from water).
• Sonic Projection: The device functions as a loudspeaker. The wearer gains a +1 bonus to Intimidation tests when using the device to amplify their voice.
• Ink Spray (Power): The wearer can use the device to cast blind (trapping: a spray of indelible ink). This uses 2 Power Points from the user’s pool (or the item’s own pool of 5 PP if it is a dedicated relic).
• Quirk (Monotone): The synthesizer strips all emotion from the voice. The wearer suffers a -1 penalty to Persuasion rolls that rely on emotional appeal or charm.

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Shadowrun (Sixth World / 6e)

Name: Evo “Ledger” Series Cyber-Proboscis

Description A telescoping cybernetic replacement or sheath for metavariants with proboscis-like anatomy (such as SURGE changelings). It features a chrome-silver finish, a built-in chemsniffer at the tip, and a high-grade vocal modulator. It is popular among corporate “cleaners” and forensic accountants who need to verify chemical assets in the field.

Stats and Mechanics

• Type: Cyberware (Headware)
• Essence Cost: 0.3
• Capacity: [3]
• Availability: 4 (Legal)
• Cost: 8,500 Nuyen

Game Effects:

• Chemical Analyzer: The tip contains a Rating 5 Chemsniffer. The user can analyze any liquid or gas by touch/taste. This provides a +5 dice pool bonus to Chemistry or Industrial Mechanic tests to identify substances.
• Toxin Filter: The cyberware acts as a filter, granting the user a +2 dice pool bonus to Toxin Resistance tests against inhaled or ingested vectors.
• Voice Modulator: The user can shift their vocal range to a subsonic or hypersonic frequency, or simply project a flat, menacing drone. This grants a +1 Edge on Intimidation or Con tests when asserting authority.
• Wireless Bonus: The chemical data is instantly cross-referenced with the Matrix market prices. The user gains a +2 dice pool bonus to Negotiation when buying or selling chemical goods (drugs, reagents, raw materials).
• Sonic Burst: By expelling compressed air through the modulator, the user can make a glorious noise.
  • Damage: 4S (Stun) – Sonic
  • Attack Rating: 6/4/-/-/-
  • Mode: SS

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Starfinder (1st Edition)

Name: AbadarCorp Truth-Siphon

Description Technological Item (Hybrid), Level 3 A sleek silver tube with blue glowing circuitry that fits over a Shirren’s or other insectoid’s mouthparts. It was developed by the Church of Abadar to help non-verbal species participate in complex trade negotiations.

Stats and Mechanics

• Price: 1,350 Credits
• Bulk: L
• Capacity: 40 (Uses 1 charge per hour of active filtering; 2 charges per Sonic Audit).
• Hands: — (Worn on Head/Mouth)

Game Effects:

• Universal Lexicon: While powered, the siphon acts as a voice amplifier and translator, allowing the user to speak Common and Abyssal (for contracts) with a metallic, authoritative timbre.
• Liquid Appraisal: The user can taste a substance to analyze it. This functions as a detect poison spell and grants a +4 insight bonus to Physical Science checks to identify drugs, medicinals, or poisons.
• Sonic Audit (Standard Action): The user can expend 2 charges to shout a magically amplified list of regulations. This acts as a blast weapon in a 15-foot cone.
  • Damage: 1d4 So (Sonic)
  • Effect: Creatures in the cone must succeed on a Will save (DC 13) or be Staggered for 1 round due to the sensory overload of bureaucratic jargon.
• Ink Defense (Reaction): If the user is hit by a melee attack, they can expend 1 charge to spray a cloud of alchemical ink. The attacker suffers a 20% miss chance on their next attack.

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Traveller (Mongoose 2nd Edition)

Name: TL14 Diplomatic Analysis Filter (Species Variant: Insectoid)

Description A high-tech respiratory mask and sensory augmentation suite designed for Hivers or Vargr, encased in an iridium-silver sheath. It includes a powerful expert system for trade and linguistics.

Stats and Mechanics

• Tech Level: 14
• Mass: 0.5 kg
• Cost: Cr 12,000

Game Effects:

• Atmospheric Filtration: Acts as a Filter Mask (Filter/Respirator). It renders Tainted atmospheres breathable and provides DM+4 to checks to resist airborne toxins.
• Wafer Jack (Linguistic): The device has a slot for a Language Wafer. It comes pre-loaded with an Anglic (or local trade tongue) wafer, allowing the user to speak perfectly regardless of their biology.
• Chem-Sniffer: The tip contains a molecular analyzer. The user can determine the exact chemical composition of a liquid or gas instantly. This grants DM+2 to Science (Chemistry) and Investigate checks involving fluids.
• Voice Stress Analysis: The device monitors the vocal stress of those the user is talking to. It grants DM+1 to Deception and Persuade checks, as the user can scientifically adjust their pitch to be more convincing or intimidating.

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Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay (4th Edition)

Name: The Alchemist’s Silver Proboscis

Description A bizarre contraption of silver and glass, etched with the symbols of Chamon (The Gold Wind). It is worn over the nose and mouth, making the wearer look like a giant metal mosquito. It is favored by Gold Wizards and eccentric Tilean bankers who fear poisoning.

Stats and Mechanics

• Availability: Exotic
• Cost: 25 Gold Crowns
• Encumbrance: 0 (Worn)

Game Effects:

• Poison Detection: The wearer can test Trade (Alchemist) or Perception when tasting a liquid. On a success, the glass tube glows red if poison is present, and the wearer suffers no ill effects (the silver neutralizes the sip).
• The Voice of Law: The device amplifies the wearer’s voice, stripping it of emotion. The wearer gains the Command Talent. If they already have it, they gain +10 to Leadership Tests.
• The Ink Jet: Once per encounter, the wearer can use a Free Action to spray black ink at an adjacent foe. The target must pass an Agility Test or gain the Blinded Condition for 1 round.
• Magical Resonance: The item counts as a trapped magical item. While wearing it, the user gains +1 SL to Channelling (Gold) tests involving transmutation or metal, but suffers -10 to Fellowship tests in social situations where empathy is required, as they sound like a cold machine.